“BAD”


“BAD”

The tone is disturbingly gleeful
It says, “I am the best parent, the kind you should be. My kids are happily doing their homework and playing with each other while I look at them indulgently while updating my Fb status and posting more pictures of our perfect family”

You the differently-abled one here
with blindness in your heart

This is such a difficult topic
That is not the reality with many families
Acceptance doesn’t end violence
Keeping a marriage together, keeping the very young and the very old safe, keeping sane, that is a priority too.
There are happy stories about the prodigy, the computer whiz, the super math kid but lives don’t become stories automatically

There are homes too where
nothing bears a semblance to ‘living’
Homes where the father thinks of running away
and the mother contemplates going ‘mad’
but they know they can’t and will never do

where all that the siblings pray for is release
but they still love and live together till it is humanly possible
and get through hospitalizations, guilt, feelings of inadequacy, pure terror,
even facing,” unplanned, random violence like an obese tornado”

Your life experience being so different from theirs
I have to tell you this
You have seen cute little boys who punch
They grow up one day, taller, bigger, stronger than you
Adult men (and women) who can injure
There are mostly downs and less of ups
No more patience for anyone. No more light. The house screams.

For years, I have known no other life. I come home from work not knowing if my mother will be dead and my little girl too. And no one will care and no one will help
I am broke
I have to do it myself
In spite of all my resolutions
in spite of all my love
I tie him to the cot
There is no state to hold back his arms, no neighbor to pat his confused face and calm his anger down, He bites me hard, he is 16
I slap him down
Then one day I find him a home
where there are stronger and more hands to love him back
True story

Across the street, you put down your peeping glasses
and write your Fb status
“Bad father”

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